why, or why not

I was surprised by few people who asked me why I don't write on my blog anymore.

I just smiled and that was my answer to them.

wow. so there are some people who still check out this bus blog!

Well, the truth is,

I have moved.

 I haven't been on the bus for months and my commute to anywhere is by the train.

I even get to choose which train I ride each morning.

My favorite is the Purple line. Brown line is okay. Both of them run on the ground and give me a good view for 5 minutes. They get crowded too. But there is something about the crowdedness in train that doesn't push my button. Usually I am okay with being squashed on the corner.

The red line is my least favorite. I don't like going under. Maybe it's due to claustrophobia of mine. Or I simply watched too many Hollywood action movies, where all the criminals always seem to target the subway to install the bomb. 

So, I have been thinking about why I don't write about public transportation anymore.

I guess it's because I don't have much to complain about.

Last semester, I was filled with anger that I had to let it out somewhere. Writing here or recording something on my camera gave me a space to laugh about the situation. Or it made me feel better when I thought to myself, " Well, it's all art."

It's funny to say I don't write anymore because I am not angry or complaining anymore.

I guess I am a writer only when I am not happy.

I say I want to keep good memories forever and forget the bad ones. 

How come I keep the record of my unhappy times and don't care much to write about good times.. Or do I not need to even write about good times since they are automatically engraved in my brain?

Well, anyways,

this is why I am temporarily abandoning my blog for a while.

25 cents

A quarter is a quarter.

They don't mean much when they are some part of price tags that go through my credit card.

There are only two occasions when 25 cents mean a lot to me.

Firstly, it is when I do my laundry. I take doing my laundry seriously and I prepare for it

throughout the week. 

I collect my quarters. I do not use them away.  Even when I am buying a candy that is like 75 cents, I would use my credit card.

I found another occasion today, when 25 cents seem so much to me.

As I lost my U-pass, I have been paying for the bus/train fares since the beginning of this week.

Today, I got on the bus without knowing that I only had $1.75 on my paid bus card. 

It was snowing outside so I gladly jumped into the bus and put my card in.

A bus driver, in his low voice tone, told me to step aside.

I was a quarter short to be a passenger on this bus.

Gracefully, he kept on driving while I was frantically searching for a quarter.

Of course I did not have any cash on me.

After driving 2 blocks away, the bus driver told me to take my card back. I thought he was letting this one pass and I was about to give him a nice smiley face. Then he told me to 

get off the bus at the next stop.

Oh my goodness. I was about to be kicked out of the bus.

My searching fingers got even more desperate, and luckily I found my little purse for coins.

It looked like I had a 10 cent coin, a 5 cent coin and bunch of 1 cent coins. 

I could not tell whether they make up a quarter or not, but I was too nervous to count them.

So, I threw all of them into the coin box. 

In that split seconds, I was pleading the bus driver to let me stay on the bus.

He did.

I sat next to this person, whose smell was unbearable to my nose.

Forgetting whatever that was on my mind before I found 25 cents, 

I started complaining again.

I hate riding a bus.

Today, 

Jansen left me a message on facebook,

telling me to keep writing on my blog.

I have been feeling like I was talking to the wall, 

whenever I post something here.

I mean, I understand that people are too busy to read my bus/train stories.

It made me feel great to know that someone is interested in my stories.

I also felt great because I finally figured out what to do with my stories 

for the show next Friday.

Art begets art

Thanks Pate Conaway!

f**k

I did not know that the day after a snowy day was a day to avoid riding buses & trains.

I waited for the bus in the morning. I felt good. I had good breakfast. I was ready for the day.

The bus came 10 minutes later and 

as it it were teasing me, 

it passed right by me.

It was packed.

Then the second bus came, 15 minutes later. It was packed.

I didn't have any other choice than pushing myself into the packed bus.

There was a guy standing right in front of me. He was shorter than me and maybe for that reason

I felt even more uncomfortable.

I got off the bus.

I then went down to take take Blueline to school.

10 minutes later, the train came, packed. The door opened and there were these people

standing, starring at me, silently saying, " Don't you dare!"

I let that one pass.

I looked at my watch and I was very likely to be around 10 minute late for the class.

The second train came 15 minutes later, packed with people.

I tried to step in but the door closed right at my nose.

" FUCK!"

To my surprise, I said this dreadful word like more than I had ever said in my entire life.

I don't swear.

I mean, I occasionally say the S word when I bang my head or my foot.  But I don't swear.

And I said F-U-C-K this morning, in front of many many people.

When I had to let the third train pass me, I was about to throw a tantrum.

" F, F, F, F, F!"

I couldn't believe it.

I felt mortified for swearing so much in my life.

But I was even more embarrassed to be so late for the class.

I am a girl who swears now. I am very sad..

Hi Shira!

Yesterday 

on the bus, 

I bumped into the girl with whom I took a life drawing class together at UC Irvine.

Her name is Shira and she is an amazing painter.

What a small world!

flat tyre, bus, walk, singing and Chicago winter

On the way home from Thanksgiving dinner at Erin's

I caught a ride from Kristina. She just bought a second-hand car for real bargain

and it's been a week since she got a car.

I was wearing heels and when she offered a ride home, I was crying out in my mind

' THANK YOU!!!!'

Just when we got onto the road, we heard a weird noise.

Her front right tyre was completely flat.

Luckily we were right by the petrol station so we pulled over.

There were Kristina, her friend from California, Michal and Nadav. And a drunk guy who was

so eager to help us. I ended up having to give my packed thanksgiving food from Erin's place

to this guy, but still, he wouldn't leave us alone.

While everyone else was doing the "car-talk", I was standing behind them, feeling helpless and

unbearably cold. What a memorable Thanksgiving, I thought.

I remembered our family trip during winter onetime. I was 5ish and my family was driving to 

this hot spring in the snow. All I remember is that the road was very slippery and the car was running out of gas. Mom told us to pray for the petrol station, but even as I was praying, 

I was so dismayed. We were in the middle of nowhere! My dad was driving very slowly, kept telling us that everything was okay. After an hour or so, I saw this red light and that was the sign of petrol station. I was so relieved that I had to pee so badly!

We all came home without making it to the hot spring. But the shower at home was as good as any natural hot spring I could imagine. 

It was 9:30 pm, and Kristina decided to call a tow truck. 

Michal, Nadav and I decided to catch a bus home. While waiting for the bus, Nadav said,

" The Damen bus NEVER comes!"

and I said,

" All the buses, they never come, you know"

Finally we got on the bus and while Michal and Nadav were sitting together, warming each other, I stared at the window, laughing at this whole situation.

I got off.

I had to walk 2 blocks to my apartment. The street was deserted.

So I decided to sing. 

Really loud, too.

At first, I was singing to forget the coldness, 

but as I went on, I got a bit technical and I was like, 

'hmm, I am so bad as I thought I was'

I spent a total of 3 hours on redline train today.

On the way home in blueline train, I thought I would not mind passing out on the street.

Maybe I just wanted sympathy from strangers..